A Letter to Theo | An LDS View of Porn Addiction, Sponsors and Moral Agency

By the way, if you’ve read my “Rowboat and Marbles” essay, you’ve read about my friend with severe depression. She kept praying and praying for Heavenly Father to take away her unhappiness. He did, but He did it through the intermediary of a friend who helped her see what the problem was and see that she needed psychiatric help.

You are in the same position as my friend. For years, you’ve been praying and asking Heavenly Father to give you strength to overcome your weakness on your own. Heavenly Father has now answered your prayers, but not in the way you expected. He gave you strength to send that first e-mail to SALifeline.org. He gave you strength to respond to my e-mails. He has given you a chance to learn, understand, change, heal, recover and be happy. He has given you an opportunity to fix your marriage by first fixing yourself.

As you get more sober and move further into recovery, your wife is going to notice some differences in you. She will see that you’re less preoccupied and self-absorbed and that you’re more mentally and emotionally present with her and the family. She will notice that you are more interested in spiritual things and more willing to pleasantly take charge of the family’s spiritual matters. She will notice a softening in how you treat her. Your kids will notice these changes, too. It’s going to be fabulous.

Please make time today to get into the White Book of Sexaholics Anonymous. You need to fill your brain with recovery tools that will help you overcome your addictive behavior. I think of it like a big Lego bucket. If you only have two or three Legos in your bucket, they’ll rattle around and make a lot of noise, but you won’t be able to do much with them. If, on the other hand, you fill your recovery bucket with all the sobriety Legos you can get a hold of, you can then build some very serious recovery. Let me know your thoughts on the reading and give me an answer to the question I asked above.

Talk soon,

Andrew P.


Comments

A Letter to Theo | An LDS View of Porn Addiction, Sponsors and Moral Agency — 4 Comments

  1. can you please tell me where my husband and I can find LDS Sponsors? Him for SA and me for S-Anon. We live in an area that has a severe lack in LDS resources for this problem. My husband and I are working on our individual recovery and just discovered SA and S-Anon through your site. The ARP through the church doesn’t have sponsors in our area nor is it as specific to the problem the way SA and S-Anon are. We really need help finding LDS sponsors. I spend time nearly every day trying to find this very important piece to our respective recoveries and I am not having much success. Anything you can do to help would be a huge help to us.

  2. I should state that when I say “problem” I am not minimizing the huge impact addiction is in our life and also I meant to say any info or direction you can provide would be a huge help.

  3. Hi, can somebody tell me how I can find a sponsor for my 18 year old son? He is in counseling right now, and think that having somebody besides me (his father) helping him who understood this addiction better would be invaluable.

    • Hi F.R. If you and your son are interested, there is a great program based on the Church’s ARP manual that you can sign up for at arpsupport.org. There, they will assign your son a sponsor who will work with him to get through all 12 steps in about 90 days. It is a rigorous program that requires a person to commit to doing daily step work, journaling, prayer, scripture study, and 2+ PASG/ARP/SA meetings each week. It also requires a commitment to stay sober throughout the program. If a relapse occurs, the addict will need to restart from Day 1 if he wants to remain in the program. Once he finishes the program, he will start sponsoring other addicts and, in my experience, sponsoring has been the greatest thing for my own recovery. I have been sponsoring in the program for about 8 months and have 11 months of true sobriety. This program works, if the person is willing to do the work. If you have any questions for me about the program, you can contact me at brainoncapitalist at gmail dot com.

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